I think you deserve all of me. I truly do. I understand blogging your weight loss journey is supposed to be about honesty and candidness.
I'm doing the best I can, for now.
I truly only started this blog as a way for my close friends and family to show their support via browsing. Do you know that feeling that you have when you're insanely passionate about something? Something you know works and you just need this person to understand how much they would love it if they just tried? (My mind goes to explaining the AppleTV and/or iPhone to my mom for the first time.) I feel that excitement when I write here. I feel like the fact that I ate fatty quiche and Mexican food and still lost weight is the biggest. deal. ever. And I just HAVE to share that with you. For the last 10 years of my life, it was all or nothing. 2 bacon egg and cheese biscuits for breakfast or water. A quesadilla and full order of chips and queso all to myself for lunch or a juice. The chicken tender and fried shrimp combo with fries but wait, don't forget my side salad with ranch and a croissant for dinner or carrot sticks. I either wanted to starve myself, or die of fatness. I couldn't fathom a life where I could eat normal. And be healthy.
I have a long way to go in my weight loss. But, the fact that I can say I've found that sweet spot. The normal spot. The one that isn't starving or "throw up" full on food, that is just very comfortable...it's kind of my miracle. And I guess what I'm saying is, regardless of how terribly cliché it is to say this, if I found mine, I KNOW you can find yours. I've read blogs. "Trust me, if I can lose XXX amount of weight, so can you." I used to think, bitch, you don't know me! CLEARLY she can't put away Taco Bell like me. But it's all about finding your own groove. At your own time. Setting your own pace.
As time goes, I will be more forthcoming about my weight loss goals, weigh ins, progress photos, etc. I'm learning how to open up. I'm not all the way there yet. For me, while I'm extremely happy with the progress and how I feel, I can't help but feel that this process is really "ugly." Call it vanity, call it what you will, this is just me being honest. I used to watch The Biggest Loser with my mom. I used to watch them sweat and struggle and weigh in with their spandex shorts, and I couldn't help but feel sorry for them. That all of their personal struggles were being aired on T.V. I understand they chose that. And I admire those people more than I can explain. That is just not me. I've opened myself up before and regretted it greatly. When I get to a place where I am ready to share, trust me. This will be where I do it. And I hope you're there for it!